Spring. A New Season.

Spring is my favorite season. I have always liked it more than the other seasons. There is something about leaving my windows or doors open, hearing the birds chirping and feeling a fresh breeze come through the house. The Creator of the universe, God himself, recreates life from things that appear or feel dead, and he has done so since the beginning of time. I also like the spring rain that comes to give living water to all of the trees, flowers and fields that are in bloom - and they take it in, as if they've been thirsting for it all winter long.

As winter closed out in March, doors that were open in my life have been closed as well.  My family started the process of looking for a new church home, the bible study that I was co-leading with a friend ended, and I worked my last day as an independent contractor for the company I have been employed or contracted out by since I was 18 years old.  Lots of doors closing, but I know that when one door, or 3, are shut - another will be opened.

I just finished up a bible study titled Chase, by Jennie Allen, with a wonderful group of ladies. On Monday night, we all shared our favorite nugget that we took from the study.  My nugget was that only the Creator gets to say who or what the Creation is.  I cannot stop thinking about that.  For all of my life, I have been allowing others, including myself, to say who I am.. or what I can or should do (as far as my skill set). This brings to memory the story of the Potter in Jeremiah 18, where the vessel the potter was making of clay was spoiled, so he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good for him to do.  In Isaiah 64, we are also told that the Lord, our Father, is the potter - and that we are the clay, we are all the work of His hand.

I cannot get this out of my mind. 

I think for a while, I tried to throw my hands into the potters hands... not to be shaped, but thinking that I could actually try to help Him shape me, into what I wanted to be for Him.  Even though I thought I had given over everything to Him, I had not given over certain pieces of me, pieces of my 'identity' that I held on to for some reason.  I found my identity in those things, and not just Him, and Him alone.  I have let go of the bad things of my past, but have held on to what I thought were the good things.  But wait, "if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here" - 2 Corinthians 5:17    

On this first day of Spring, I can't help but feel that I am being re-shaped into something else.  Not that the vessel I was before was spoiled, or maybe it was?  I know that THE potter wants to mold the clay into something else for His use.  I can feel it.  I think for a long time, I was scared of what that would mean for me, or my family, if I was molded into something else.  Something I am not familiar with, the unknown... the unseen.  But isn't that what faith is all about?  Faith doesn't operate in fear of those things.  "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1.  

As I sit back and look at all the broken pieces of this vessel (me).... I embrace the potter's hand, the feeling of fresh, warm, living water that I have been thirsting for reshaping me, and molding me into who He says that I am, who He wants me to be, and what He wants to use me for.  I am no longer an Investor Relations Liaison, an extrovert, a loud mouth (well, maybe that one is still there a little bit), a leader, an intimidating person, or a bossy britches know it all... I am only who He says I am, on any given day, at any given moment, in whatever way He needs me.  

"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past - see, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?" - Isaiah 43:18-19