Chocolate Flavored Grace

The other day I was at the end of my rope with my two youngest kids.  Have you ever had one of those days where within the first 20 minutes of the morning, you kind of already know how the day is going to go... and it's not good?  Well, that's the kind of day that my two youngest kids and I were having.  So I did what any 'Mother of the Year' would; I took them to Target... when it was open...with other people there...in public.

I honestly don't know what I was thinking.  Maybe I thought that if I got out of the house for a little bit, then I'd at least be able to deal with them better?  Needless to say, our Target trip was nothing short of torture.  Within the first 2 minutes of being there, Caleb had managed to knock over numerous items on the shelves.  Add a few mintues onto that and Liana had thrown, and was still throwing, a full fledged fit because I wouldn't buy her lip gloss.  She promised that she wouldn't eat it this time, but I know her better than that (and I used to eat it too).  Then, they had to use the bathroom - every 10 minutes.  And of course... you can probably guess what came next... "I am hungry, I'm starving...I want chocolate milk, I want an icee, can I buy this toy, I want a shirt - why does she get a shirt and I don't."  I was seriously about to lose my mind. 

Then, it was time to check out.  I said "NO" to about 20 candy and gum requests.  Caleb then managed to push the cart into my leg with all of the force that he could muster, on accident, of course.  Liana started crying, again, because I wouldn't let her check out with my debit card.  At this point, I turned away from them - walked to the little cafe that was directly across from us - grabbed 2 chocolate milks, bought them and handed them to the kids.  I wish I would have been able to capture the look on their faces when I handed them the chocolate milk. Heck, now that I think about it - I would have liked to have seen the look on my face when I did it because in that moment, I was totally not operating in my flesh.

I handed them their chocolate milks and Caleb said, "But, I thought we couldn't have anything because of our behavior?"  I replied, "Son, this is how God's grace works.  When we don't deserve the things we want, or we don't act a certain way, God still loves us and shows us grace.  Even though you didn't have good behavior at home, or in the store.  I still love you, and I want you to have this - I am showing you some grace today."

The reaction from them was priceless.  They sat quiet for a minute processing everything I had said to them, which I was glad for because I needed some time to process what I had just done too.  Then came the big hugs and kisses.  They told me they were so sorry for behaving the way they had and that I was the best mother ever.  Their attitude changed completely for the rest of the day.  They were little angels, hugging me, having manners, getting along great, doing things for each other, showing each other and me grace... Grace is good.

What the Holy Spirit spoke to me in this situation was 2 things.  #1) More often than not, I am that child - throwing my fits, knocking things over and upset that I am not getting what I want when I want it.  But, God still loves me.  Jesus still died for me and my ridiculous behavior.  And, God still blesses me - sometimes with things, sometimes just with His presence - He shows me grace.  #2)  My reaction to God's grace and blessings isn't always the same as my kids.  I think I have often taken grace for granted.  I don't always give the Lord immediate praise and change my attitude when He shows me grace, and I don't always - in turn, extend grace to others.

^"And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18: 3-4

I am thankful that the Lord continues to show me things and work on me through my children and my experiences with my children.  As the Lord shows me grace today, I will get a little closer to him (to give him a hug), praise him (by telling Him that He is the best Father ever) and I will change my attitude. 

Father God, fill me with Grace, and allow me to fill others with grace towards them.  Grace is good and you are Good - In Jesus Name. 

My Beloved

I thought I would share my 'Go To' song when I'm having a hard moment/day/week/month.  I picture myself there, with Him singing this over me.  Read the lyrics below and really sit in it for a moment.  Then, if you'd like - I have posted the video below if you'd like to hear it.

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me, my love.

Under my mercy come and wait
Til we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you my child.

You're beautiful, to me.
So beautiful, to me.

I sing over you my song of peace.
Cast all your cares down at my feet.
Come and find your rest in me.

(this is my favorite part)
I'll breathe my life inside of you.
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings.
And hide you in the shadow of my strength.
I'll take you to my quiet waters.
I'll restore your soul.
Come rest in me and be made whole.

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight.
Come away with me, my love.

 - My Beloved, Kari Jobe

For your listening pleasure...

Higher Ground

Yesterday, I woke up and decided to water our plants and our trees.  When I went to water one of the trees I noticed the biggest spider web I have ever seen that was connected to two of our trees.  I sprayed the web.  Once I started spraying the web, I noticed the spider began to scurry along its web.  I was curious to see which tree it was going to run towards, and it ran to the bigger tree, in an upward motion (the other tree was smaller and the spider would have had to have run in a downward motion).  Once the spider was on the tree, I started spraying the tree where the spider was to see what it would do.  It ran upwards.  I sprayed above the spider to see if it would run down, and it wouldn't budge.  Even through the force of the water that was ahead of it, it continued to run up.

This intrigued me, so I did what any sane person would do... I kept trying to out squirt the spider.  It never fell off of the tree, or stopped in its tracks while I was spraying it.  It never tried to hide behind a leaf or even crawl to the other side of the tree. It would just run upwards.  Once the spider was too high for me to spray I left it alone, but I was still intrigued.

I quickly felt the Holy Spirit ask me if that's what I do in times of despair?  Do I run upward, towards higher  ground?  Do I resist the enemy by running to my God, the most high, until I am out of the enemy's reach and he flees from me?

The truth is, I don't know if I press on as much as this spider did.  Don't get me wrong, I run upward quite often.  But I must admit, I do, at times grow weary in running upward with the water falling on my back.  I run upward, but sometimes, I find myself thinking, I can rest here and seek protection behind this leaf.  I run upward, but the raging waters of my enemy that I see in front of me can make me hesitate to press on or push through the water.  I run upward, but sometimes I run around to the other side to try to hide.  I run upward, but can sometimes feel like letting go of the tree, instead of clinging to it, because it seems like it's easier to just let go.  All of these things cause delay.

Which brought me to another thought... when I pray, do I pray out of an offensive spirit, or a defensive spirit.  Do I pray things in such a way to claim victory over what Christ has already said is finished?   Or do I pray things in such a way to defend myself from my worldly troubles, to protect me from the troubles instead of embracing them and pushing through them with the victory of the Spirit of the living God within me?.

Today, I choose to pray on the offense and seek higher ground.  I pray that this would begin to come naturally to me, as naturally as it came to the spider.

"Father, thank you for suffering for us Lord so that we would no longer have to suffer eternally.  I claim the victory of everything you did for us on that cross, that even when I feel sick or broken, I am sharing in your suffering Lord, and for that I rejoice.  You say that by your stripes we are healed and I am claiming that promise over my body and my life, in every situation, right now, in Jesus name.  I pray that you would pour out the blood that you already sacrificed onto my broken body,  and my heart.  Transform it, make it line up with every word of God and the way He created it to be.  It is already finished thanks to you Jesus, and I am claiming that victory over my body and my life, right now, in Jesus' Holy name. Amen."