Monday, April 2, 2012

Dependency

My name is Rene' and I am a coca cola-holic.  It is sad, and it is true. 

A few years ago, I had to come to terms with something.  Something hard.  I was an alcoholic.  I grew up with an alcoholic dad and in my mind, the images I had of him were the images of what an alcoholic looked like in my mind.  Based on this, I was sure I was not that - just a social drinker.  Have you ever looked up the word alcoholic?  It means:  continued, excessive or compulsive use of alcohol drinks leading to pyschological or physical dependence or addiction.  And I was at that place.  Continued, excessive use of alcohol to 'numb' me from pain or from having to deal with life.  If I was irritated it was always easier to grab a corona, or 3, with some lime and salt to alter my mood rather than deal with the issue.  If I was happy, I had even more coronas!

When I invited Christ into my life on July 24, 2009 - I gave up alcohol completely and have not had a drink since.  Praise God.  I continue to reflect back on that and think about how I had such a dependency on it and how easy it was to let it go because He was worthy and He was enough.

Here I am today, April 2, 2012.  For the past month, the LORD has been showing me that although I gave up alcohol and my dependency on it - I had let something else come between me and my full dependency on Him.  I had turned away from alcohol, but in time had turned to something else.  Something that isn't viewed as 'bad' by society, but something I have allowed myself to place in alcohol's absence and something I have placed before Him.  And that something is coca cola.  When I am irritated, I like to drink a coca cola.  When I am happy, I drink a coca cola.  Sometimes for no reason at all, I just drink a coca cola.  Coca cola has replaced coronas. 

I am not saying there is anything wrong with drinking a corona.  I am not saying there is anything wrong with drinking a coca cola.  I am saying that for me, there is something wrong with it.  The reason is that I have learned to turn to drinking a coke when the going gets tough.  I have learned to turn to drinking a coke when I want to celebrate.  I have learned to turn to coca cola just because, for no reason at all ... a continued, excessive, compulsive use of coca cola. 

So as of yesterday, I have decided to give up coca cola for at least 30 days, possibly longer and possibly for always.  I am determined to re-learn to turn to who I should have solely been depending on this whole time.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30


I choose the bright and morning star when I am sad,
I choose the prince of peace when I am irritated,
I choose the light of the world when I am happy,
I choose the name above all names when I feel insecure,
I choose the blessed redeemer when I don't feel worthy,


I CHOOSE JESUS, MESSIAH - just because.  

What about you?  Is there any thing, big or subtle, that you have allowed yourself to find comfort in, whether it be a time of celebration or a time of grievance, before turning to Christ?

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