The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Growing up I have had many different friendships, all at many different levels.  Most of them have lasted for a season of my life, but I do have one friendship that has lasted for 20 years.

I met Erica when we were in 6th grade (both 11 years old).  When you ask her what she first thought of me, she will say that she was a little intimidated by me and my big ol mouth straight forward personality (some things never change) and I thought she was too quiet, or too much of a goody two shoes.  But, nonetheless, we became friends.  We went to the same middle school where we were on the same 7th grade pep squad and 8th grade cheerleading team.  In high school, we hung out with pretty much the same crowd, went to lots of during after school activities together and even rode to our Senior prom in the same limo.  After our high school graduation, most of our friends all kind of went our separate ways.  Erica and I, however, always seemed to maintain our friendship and could always pick up right where we left off, even if we hadn't talked for a while.  At one point we even worked for the same company and we were pregnant together.

    

I will never forget the day she told me that she had received Jesus Christ and was quitting her dancing career with the Dallas Desperados.  I didn't even know what that meant, to receive Jesus Christ, I just knew that she had changed a lot and was making a lot of changes in her life.  Even though I didn't understand what she was doing, or why, I continued to be friends with Erica (sadly, many of our mutual friends didn't).  Erica would often talk to me about the Lord, but I didn't understand the language she was speaking.  I was of the world, and even though the things she said to me sounded good - I wasn't really up for having to change my lifestyle nor did I have an open heart to hear what she was saying.  But, our friendship still continued.

Then, on July 24, 2009 - I knew exactly what she was talking about!  That is the day I received Jesus Christ into my life.  I was at my house, in my bedroom - and I fell to my knees and cried out to Jesus.  I called her and told her and I don't know who was more excited in that moment - her or me?!  It was then that she told me that she had been praying for my salvation every single day since the day she was saved on May 14, 2003.   It was, and still is, the single best gift anyone has ever given me.   If you ask her about it, she will tell you that at times she just didn't even know what that would look like, for me of all people, to be saved since I was so far in the deep end.  But she never gave up and knew that God was able.

I am still humbled and brought to tears when I think that someone loved me as much as Erica did, to be that intentional about praying for me every single day - and trusting God to do His work in my life.  I am brought to tears even more by knowing that even with all of the unconditional love Erica has shown me, God still loves me more. 

This week Erica's husband, Chris, was speaking at the YFN camp at the Christ for the Nations Institute.  She asked me to attend, just like she has for the past 2 or 3 years, and Bruno and I attended with our two oldest girls.  Chris' message was so powerful and clearly inspired by the Holy Spirit that I recommitted my life to Christ this past Monday.  We went back with our girls to hear his second message on Wednesday, and Alyssa, one of our daughters, received Jesus Christ into her life during another powerful message that Chris delivered.

I am in awe of God as I type this blog.  I am also very grateful for Him bringing Erica into my life 20 years ago.  It's amazing at how our friendship was hand orchestrated for her to pray for my salvation, and for Him to use Erica's husband and his message to inspire Alyssa to receive Jesus Christ. 

I have often whined felt that I have a hard time with friendships, particularly maintining them, in my adulthood.   But I am finally at a place where I really trust that God knows what He is doing, specifically with my friendships.  Some friends will be woven closer than others, but I am so glad that He has woven Erica and I as tightly together as He has, a chord that cannot easily be broken.

Erica, if you are reading this - I love you girl!  Thank you for the wonderful gift of unconditional friendship, for being my cheerleader, my encourager, my voice of reason when I am being completely irrational (ha!), having the courage to tell me when I was in the wrong and for praying for my salvation.  Even though we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like you are always in my heart.

For everyone else reading this blog - I am a direct product of an answer to what seems like an impossible prayer.  I encourage anyone reading this to pick one person that you know that has not received Jesus Christ into their life and pray for them incessantly in the same way that Erica prayed for me.  It could be a complete game changer for your friend or family member and for their children and their children's children.         

Dad

My parents separated when I was 5 and were divorced about a year later.  Around the time the divorce was finalized, my mom started dating and that is when I met Rod.  I had no idea at the time that the red headed, raised on a farm, man from South Dakota would become my step-father.  But he did, when I was 8 years old.  Then I came to know my Heavenly Father when I was 28 years old.  As I have aged, my feelings about Father's Day have always been mixed.

I would say that for the most part, I have always enjoyed honoring the man who raised me (at least when my birthday didn't fall on Father's Day, which it did, again, this year).  But, I always remember there being a hesitation to call my 'real' dad and wish him a Happy Father's Day.  I think I was angry, hurt and resentful towards him for most of my childhood. 

My real dad had not called me on my birthday for the last 4 or 5 years - which was hurtful, I am not going to lie, but I paid him back by not calling him on Father's Day (mature, I know).  For the last, almost 2 years, we have not talked to each other - at all.  But, on Sunday June 17th - my real dad called me.  I looked down and saw his name and froze.  I ALMOST didn't answer, but I did and I didn't give a normal greeting - I answered with saying Happy Father's Day (something that has always been hard for me to say to him).  He laughed and wished me a Happy Birthday.  I know it sounds simple, but given the fact that we had not talked in 2 years, nor wished each other a Happy anything for the past 4 or 5 years, it was kind of a big deal.  This is especially true because of the word I heard at church this past Sunday.  To sum it up, one of the Pastor's touched on how he had harbored bitterness towards his earthly Father never being there for him when he was younger.  But our Heavenly Father used his Grandfather (who raised him) to show him what his Heavenly Father looked like, and because of that he has been able to release the bitterness he held towards his earthly Father and now has a relationship with him and has even taken on a somewhat of care taker role.  So the fact that my real dad called me that evening, I am sure, is not a coincidence.  I am certain it was hand orchestrated by God, and quite frankly - I am curious to see where God is going with this.

When you take a look at both of my Dads, and their contrast, it's kind of hilarious.  I know that I probably wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have a little bit of my real dad and my step dad in me.  One thing they have in common - they are well respected by their peers.  Happy Father's Day to both of my dads, would you like to meet them?

This is my real dad, Clovis (yes, you read that right - Clovis).  The rebel without a cause (ok, sometimes with).  Although I don't remember much about him from my early childhood, I do remember him being a good cook (a trait that I did not pick up).  Clovis is an AA sponsor and has helped hundreds of people come off of their dependency on alcohol (he himself has been alcohol free for about 25 years now).  As an adult, I kid you not, 2 out of every 10 people that know my maiden last name, associate it with his (it's not a common maiden name) and tell me "your dad helped me stop drinking" or "your dad helped my friend".  He has several tattoos, and peircings - some visible, some hidden.  All of which he did not acquire until after the age of 55!  There are certain traits of my dad, that I think I have - the first being his rebel blood, his outspoken nature, his spontaneity, his ability to laugh at himself, his love for salt and his ability to talk someone's ear off (sorry Bruno, I got it from him and my mom).  What I love most about my dad are the crazy analogies he comes up with and hearing him tell somone that if they would bring him some salt he would dance at their wedding (by the way, he only has half of a foot, so that would be hard).  What God continues to show me through him is his compassion towards people.  My dad is 70 years old and still sponsors alcoholics.  Not only does he sponsor people, he invites complete strangers, with drug and alcohol dependencies, with no where to go, into his home and gives them food, and a place to live.  He has done this since I was at least 8 years old.  My dad has never once judged anyone, nor does he care (not even a little bit) about what people say, or think, of him.  I hope to one day pick up on these traits.

This is my other dad, Rod.  The constant.  I met Rod when I was 6 years old and he became my step-dad when I was 8.  Rod took on the role of being my dad quite naturally.  I don't ever remember feeling like I was a step child.  On the contrary, he always made me feel loved, safe and cared for.  Rod has always been, and will always be, my dad in all aspects.  I call him the constant, because that is what he is.  Constant and consistent.  He was always there when I played sports, even though I was never great at them - I always had a fan in the stands.  He was there for my entire teenage pregnancy (age 16) and it wasn't my mom, or the father of my child that would take me to my appointments.  It was Rod (and the nurses would give him dirty looks, I guess they didn't know he was my step dad - ha).  Throughout my pregnancy we would go on walks together every single night and when I went into labor he was the one that timed my contractions at midnight while we watched M.A.S.H. (which, I don't recommend watching while in labor) and drove me to the hospital.  Throughout my ups and downs of life, I can look out and I always see Rod's face.  When I went into labor with Liana, 10 years after my first child, Caleb was also sick and in the E.R.  I called my mom and Rod to come to the hospital to help Bruno and I with this crazy situation, and it was kind of funny sitting back in the labor and delivery room with Rod next to my side - just like old times (Bruno and my mom were in the ER with Caleb).  It was a reminder of how Rod has always been there for me, and I know he always will be.  Anytime I meet someone who knows Rod the first thing that comes out of their mouth is "He's a good man".  And you know what, he is.  Traits that I am certain I have picked up from Rod are his sarcasm, his methodical way of looking at the big picture and analyzing a situation, his loyalty and his baking skills.  What I love most about him is that he understands my humor, isn't easily offended, and never makes a mountain out of a mole hill.  What God continues to show me through him is genuine faithfulness, how to have a listening ear, humility and loving kindness.  I am shown the fruit of the spirit through Rod by him fathering me and being an amazing grandfather to my kids.  He never brags about anything or feels the need to go on and on about himself.  He always finds time for others, despite his busy schedule.  I hope that all of these things will one day come naturally to me the way they do to him.

One thing is for sure, although I have a well balanced mixture of traits from both of my dads - I think we can all agree that I do not look like either one of them.  I choose to believe that this was by God's design.  On Father's Day I realized how blessed I am by these two men, but I was also reminded that I am here because of my Heavenly Father and for my Heavenly Father.  Father's Day was a reminder of who God created me to be, who he has molded me to be with influence from both of these men, and where He is leading me.  I am reminded to never lose my saltiness and let my light shine before men, that they may see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven.

What Kind of Bowl Are You?

One of my deepest desires is for the Lord to constantly use me as a vessel to bring Glory to His Name.  I want to be a vessel that our Father can depend on today, tomorrow and for always.  I often pray Lord, Here am I - send me.  I find myself waiting on pins and needles, at times, looking for His footprints where He has paved the way to allow me to do something for His Kingdom.  And, more often than not, I am left sitting on those pins and needles. 

Excitement & conviction came rushing in like a flood through my body when I heard Isaiah 66:19-20 this morning (scripture at the bottom).   I love everything about this scripture;  I don't know why, but the words cereal and vessel stick out to me like a sore thumb.  The Holy Spirit then began to show me why:

When I think of a cereal bowl, I think of a plastic bowl that gets used often.  It is resilient and sturdy.  It can be thrown around or fall off of a table, and it will not break.  It is constantly filled with milk, grains, fruits, etc...  A cereal bowl can be used indoors, or outdoors.  Adults use cereal bowls and small fingers are also trusted with cereal bowls.  While it is being used, it doesn't make much noise.  Once its use has been fulfilled, it is thrown into the sink and hangs out with the other dirty dishes.  It is then cleaned.  During its cleaning process, it can be mixed in with all other dishes or utensils for it does no harm to other dishes, nor do those dishes do harm to it.  Once it is cleaned and dried it gets put away.  The cereal bowls in our house are stacked in an everyday cabinet for easy access.  More often than not, cereal bowls are used again within the same week, although not always used for cereal.  They can be used for anything and everything. 

Then there is fine china.  A fine china bowl is fancy and nice to look at.  It gets special treatment.  It is often stored away in a 'china cabinet' with glass windows and is on display for all to see.  When there is a special occasion, a fancy dinner or an impression that needs to be made, the fine china comes out.  However, since it has been sitting so long, it needs to be cleaned before it can be used.  China is usually only used indoors, where it is safe and will not break, and small fingers are usually not trusted with fine china.  When utensils strike the plate during eating, the china makes a lot of noise.  Once it is time to for the china to be cleaned, it needs to be treated VERY carefully, or it might break!  China is not usually thrown into a sink with other dishes or utensils so that it is not scratched.  Once the cleaning and drying process is over, the china is carefully put back into its china cabinet, on display once again.

After this comparison I thought of how much these bowls are a reflection of us as a people, or as followers of Christ.  How often are we the 'fine china bowls', sitting on display with our fellow fine china dishes where we are comfortable.  The fine china is looked at by others and admired, but it isn't easily accessible.  When it is brought out of its comfort zone from time to time, it makes sure that its presence is known and it is delicately handled.  But mostly it sits in its high place looking out of glass windows collecting dust, watching other vessels being used constantly.

A cereal bowl kind of person does not require a lot of maintenance.  It can be used all day, every day and in every way.  It doesn't matter what the cereal bowl looks like, or what other dishes it is thrown up against.  Most importantly, a cereal bowl is always clean, because it is used often.  It is always willing and ready to be used.  Oh Lord, how I long to be a cereal bowl!  "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.  Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.  Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit."  Psalm 51:10-13

My challenge this week is to never go back into the china cabinet.  I want to be taken out, cleansed and used regularly for His Glory.

Isaiah 66:19-20 "And I will set up a miraculous sign among them, and from them I will send survivors to the nations—to Tarshish, Pul (Put), and Lud, who draw the bow, to Tubal and Javan, to the isles and coast lands afar off that have not heard of My fame nor seen My glory. And they will declare and proclaim My glory among the nations. And they shall bring all your brethren from all the nations as an offering to the Lord - upon horses and in chariots and in litters and upon mules and upon camels - to My holy mountain Jerusalem, says the Lord, just as the children of Israel bring their cereal offering in a clean vessel to the house of the Lord."