The Road to Emmaus

The Road to Emmaus - A road I believe we have all traveled on at one point or another in our journey with the Lord. Are you willing to ponder Luke 24 with me? I've been chewing on it all day. It may be a long blog, but I hope you come away from it with a nugget to ponder or something revealed to you that you didn't know before.

The main cast of characters I'm focusing on in this scene are going to be Cleopas, Cleopas' unnamed companion and Jesus. But first, let's set the stage...

Jesus Christ had just been crucified and buried (Luke 23). Luke 24 opens to women who had gone back to the tomb. We are told that among these women were Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them. They did not find the body of the Lord Jesus there and instead two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning appeared and asked why they looked for the living among the dead, and said 'He is Risen'. Then the women ran back to the Eleven and to the others and told them, but they did not believe the women. Except for Peter. He ran to the tomb, saw the strips of linen laying by themselves and then went away wondering what had happened.

Now that the stage is set, let's get on to the piece of this chapter I am pondering...

And then, Luke 24:13-35 is the story of The Road to Emmaus.

v13 - "Now that very day two of them were on their way to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem."  We find out later in v33 that the Eleven and the others were in Jerusalem, so why were they walking seven miles away from Jerusalem?  Can I ask you something?  In your journey with the Lord, when you haven't quite understood what is going on, do you ever find yourself walking in the opposite direction of where you should be or running away? Do you have a place or person you run to instead of staying put? I can't help but wonder if that is what was going on here.

v14 - "They were talking to each other about all the things that had happened."  I love this scripture because they were trying to process through what had happened with each other. Can you relate? I can! I can only imagine what their conversation was like. What had happened was something their minds could not comprehend. Jesus Christ had just been walking WITH them, and they with him as His followers. They could see him, touch him, hear him and they believed him. And then, they saw him wrongly accused, beaten and crucified and buried - only to have someone then say, He is Risen. I am sure their brains were hurting.

v15 - "While they were talking and debating these things, Jesus himself approached and began to accompany them"  The scripture in Matthew 18:20 came to my mind when I read this. "For where two or three are assembled in my name, I am there among them". The two were together, talking about what had just happened with Jesus, and 'bam' - Jesus, himself, came up and walked along with them. They were talking about him, together, and he was there - just as he promised in Matthew 18. 

v16 - "but their eyes were kept from recognizing him"  This blows my mind. The term 'were kept' is also used as prevented, or held. When you look up what those words are in the Greek, it comes from the word 'ekratounto' which is a form of the Greek word 'krateo' that means to put under control or to be held in one's grasp. Both are from the root work, kratos, which means dominion, power or strength. So essentially, this is saying 'their eyes were held, and controlled, by his power'.  I want to know more!  I wonder if they were annoyed? Like, who is this guy walking with us? Do you ever wonder if Jesus is walking right with us, but our eyes are kept from recognizing him, also?

v17a - " Then he said to them, “What are these matters you are discussing so intently as you walk along?"  -- Can we just stop here. Why does the Lord like to ask questions he already knows the answer to? 

v17b - "And they stood still, looking sad." Isn't it interesting how one question can literally make us stop in our tracks? They didn't know it yet, but the voice of the Lord was speaking to them. It caused them to stop. And they were sad. I wonder if their expression would have been the same had they known it was the Lord asking them this question. I am going to take some liberty to say that their countenance would have been different had they known it was Jesus. Which makes me wonder, how often is He speaking to us through something or someone else, but we don't know it because we're too busy focusing on what all has happened? 

v18 - "Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who doesn’t know the things that have happened there in these days?"  Jesus can handle our questions. Even when we have some attitude. Though we have no evidence that Cleopas had an attitude in this question, I am going to think that maybe he did. He was just traumatized by the death of Jesus, he is debating with his friend over it, then some stranger walks up and asks what they're talking about. When he says 'are you the only visitor' - this word is 'monos' in the Greek which could be translated to 'solitary, desolate'. So he essentially asked, "Are you the solitary, gloomy, without hope, foreigner or alien that doesn't know what happened?" Kind of funny how he, being the gloomy, sad one - asks this stranger (Jesus) if he is the solitary gloomy, without hope, person. When the Lord asks you a question, and you answer back with a question (surely, I am not the only one who does this)... does it ever feel like he pulls out a mirror and you see yourself in your question to him that you think is about or for someone else?

v19-20 -  "He said to them, “What things?” “The things concerning Jesus the Nazarene,” they replied, “a man who, with his powerful deeds and words, proved to be a prophet before God and all the people; and how our chief priests and rulers handed him over to be condemned to death, and crucified him"  Again, with the asking questions He already knows the answer to! I believe that sometimes he just wants to hear us say what is already in our hearts or minds. This time Cleopas answered him without asking another question. In this statement, Cleopas is testifying to who Jesus was based on his own experience with Him, and what happened to Him. 

v21 - "But we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. Not only this, but it is now the third day since these things happened." It makes me sad to notice that their hope in this statement is past tense. We had hoped or other translations read 'we were hoping'. None read 'we hope'. Because it seems their hope is missing, I am going to wonder if their faith was also since 'faith is the reality of things hoped for'. Faith often begins with hope.

v22a - "Furthermore, some women of our group amazed us." Go ahead. Smile. I did. The word amazed here is 'exestesan' which means to astonish, to leave someone flabbergasted, to make someone feel out of their mind, or to feel overwhelmed. Do you know any women like that, that they just absolutely amaze you?  Maybe as you watch them endure something?  Or you see their growth? Or their genuine kindness? I must admit, I giggled at the 'make someone feel out of their mind'. I bet my husband can testify to that concerning me.

v22b-32 - "They were at the tomb early this morning, and when they did not find his body, they came back and said they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive." There is something about morning. Early morning! It has existed since the foundations of the earth. In the 6 days of creation in Genesis, it always ends with this, "There was evening, and there was morning". Also, when the Lord has asked someone to do something, it is a consistent theme that 'early the next morning,', they did it. Or the Lord gave specific instructions which also had to do with the morning. In Revelation 22:16, it says "I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star!” Two things to note here. I love that the women saw a vision of angels and that Jesus sends angels to testify of him. The Greek word for morning here is proinos, which means 'belonging to the early morning'. Isn't that interesting?

v24 "Then some of those who were with us went to the tomb, and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see him.” The Greek word phrase for they did not see him that is used here is 'horao & eidon'. Those words mean to experience, perceive, spiritually see or see with the mind. eídō ("seeing that becomes knowing") then is a gateway to grasp spiritual truth (reality) from a physical plane. (eídō) then is physical seeing (sight) which should be the constant bridge to mental and spiritual seeing (comprehension).  So the men went and found the tomb just as the women did, but they did not spiritually experience or perceive the same thing the women had. Has that ever happened to you? Where you see the same thing as someone else, physically, but you can't always connect it spiritually in the same way someone else did?  I think there is a great lesson hidden in this scripture. The men did not spiritually see what the women did, but that did not, and should not, discount what the women spiritually saw and understood.

v25-26 - "So he said to them, “You foolish people—how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Wasn’t it necessary for the Christ to suffer these things and enter into his glory?” Here is the Lord's rebuke. The word for said here is 'lego' which means to lay an argument to rest, to bring closure. A word from the Lord brings things to closure and lays arguments down to rest. His word(s) always demolish arguments and our own thoughts/reasoning (2 Cor 10:4-5/ Hebrews 4:12).

 v27 - "Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things written about himself in all the scriptures."  There is so much I want to say here. First, what a gracious, merciful, loving Savior. He not only walks with us, but explains/interprets things for us. There is no interpretation of His word for us apart from Him. Jesus is the Word (John 1), or living Logos. Logos means spoken words, or reasoning/logic expressed through words. Jesus here, explains the written words in the scriptures (the grapho), and gave them the interpretation of the words (or rhema). Rhema means an utterance, or spoken word (revelation) through his written word. Did I lose you there?  The logos, gave rhema from the grapho. The word, gave revelation of the word, from the word. I hope y'all are as excited about this as I am!!!!!

v28-29 "So they approached the village where they were going. He acted as though he wanted to go farther, but they urged him, “Stay with us, because it is getting toward evening and the day is almost done.” So he went in to stay with them." Jesus acted (prospoieo which means pretended) like he wanted to go further. But they urged him (used words that hit home to him) or begged him to stay with them. The Greek word used for stay here is "meno' which means to remain or abide. They were begging Jesus to abide with them. Can you believe that Jesus pretended like he wanted to go on further without them? Of course He wanted to stay with them, but sometimes, I think he wants to hear us call out and urge him to stay. John 15:7 says "If you remain (abide) in me and my words remain (abide) in you, ask whatever you want, and it will be done for you. The word was with them, abiding with them, and he had just spoken His words to them. They asked him to stay and he stayed.

v30-31a "When he had taken his place at the table with them, he took the bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. At this point their eyes were opened and they recognized him. Sometimes for our eyes to be opened up to seeing the Lord's hand in what we are doing, we have to remember what he has already done. In this particular instance, the familiarity of him taking the bread, blessing it, breaking it and giving it to them, brought back to their remembrance what they had just done with him a few days before at the last supper. "Then he took bread, and after giving thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” - Luke 22:19 The very thing that the Lord said to do in remembrance of him, is what made them remember, and caused their eyes to be opened.

v31b "Then he vanished out of their sight."  The word vanished here means to disappear or to become hidden. Man!  Isn't it odd how we can have a direct encounter with the Lord and in the next second, it's like He is hidden from us? We don't see him. Sometimes I think the Lord's favorite game to play with us is hide and go seek. You find him, then he hides again. And we have to seek him out. Which makes me thankful for his promise that when we seek him wholeheartedly, we will find him (Jeremiah 29:13).

v32 "They said to each other,“Didn’t our hearts burn within us while he was speaking with us on the road, while he was explaining the scriptures to us?”  Let me tell you something you probably already know. God is an all consuming fire. Just a word spoken to us by his word has enough power that can ignite your heart and cause it to burn in the most glorious way. One of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 20:9 "... His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

 v33a "So they got up that very hour and returned to Jerusalem."  There are so many scriptures that I have come to love from this passage, and this is definitely one of them. They got up. And they returned to Jerusalem. Do you remember at the beginning of this, in v13, they were walking away from Jerusalem? They were walking away from where they were supposed to be.  The Lord has a way of getting us to turn around and get us back to where we needed to be. No matter how far off from where you are supposed to be, you can always go back. Sometimes we, okay I, can complicate things when really it can be as simple as getting up, and going back to where you're supposed to be.

v33b-35 "They found the eleven and those with them gathered together and saying, “The Lord has really risen, and has appeared to Simon!” Then they told what had happened on the road, and how they recognized him when he broke the bread."  It is crucial, unless we feel directed otherwise by the Lord, to share our encounters and experiences with others. It builds our own faith and the faith of others. We are testifying of the Lord and His ways and His character when we do. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony.

It is interesting to note that Emmaus, the road they were on, means hot springs. I have been pondering why they would leave Jerusalem and head towards the hot springs? Though they were heading towards hot springs, the source of living water encountered them on the road and made their hearts burn within. On the road to the hot springs, they encountered an infinite hot spring of living water - Jesus, himself.

Sometimes, the place we want to be is not where we need to be. More than likely they associated Jerusalem with trauma and wanted to get away from it. Not just because of what they witnessed, but because they were followers of Jesus and therefore, perhaps in danger among the people who crucified Jesus.  I am sure that the hot springs, away from the imminent danger, seemed like a better place to walk off to. But, that was not where the Lord wanted or needed them. And he loved them enough to go after them.

If you read further in Luke 24, you will find that Jesus showed up right as they were sharing their stories. If I was Cleopas or his companion, I would be relieved that we went back to Jerusalem, otherwise - they would have missed seeing Jesus again. Jesus also then gives his final commission and tells them to "stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.” 

Jesus has a way of getting us back to where we need to be.

My Brain Overflows

Hi! It's been a while since I've blogged. Partly because at times I don't feel like I have much to say. And at other times, I have too much to say <--- have you met me?  If you haven't, yet, you've been warned. My mind goes into over drive and I seriously feel like I have 298 thoughts going on at one time, and often times, not about the same thing. I rabbit trail a lot, but always find my way back. I'm not even kidding. Here is what is going on in my brain right this second:

- I wish the dogs outside would stop barking
- what bird is that chirping the most awkward little song?
- really? Turn your bass down, you're making my house shake.
- I need to grab a cup of coffee
- should I take Bruno food now, or later?
- food! oh man, I need to remember to buy buns and hamburger meat for tomorrow
- and a birthday card
- I could get that at Kroger, but I'd rather go to Target
- if I go to target, I need to buy a new sponge
- Lori said I was a sponge in this season of  my life, I wonder if I am absorbing, or being squeezed and letting all of it out - maybe both?  I'm being wringed and stretched, that's for sure!
- Sponges start out dry and tight, but then expand with water.
- As long as I'm expanding spiritually and not on my waist line!
- I need to clean my closet out and do some spring cleaning.
- I love spring. Even the crazy spring weather in Texas and thunderstorms.
- Thunderstorms, though nerve-racking and sometimes scary, produce such an outpour of water that it flooded Urba's flood plain.
- Her flood plain overflows. LOL
- Isn't that how it seems with God sometimes? We have a downpour in our lives, but out of that downpour, our cup overflows?
- My mind is overflowing right now
- Oh ya, I'm blogging.

All of that seriously just crossed my mind within the last minute or 2. I was trying to type as fast as my fingers could keep up with my brain, ha ha. That's why I don't always blog. Too much randomness.

I have missed sitting here and blogging. Even if it is about random things, my kids, or what I'm pondering from God's word.  The past few months, I have spent quite some time pondering God's word in a different way. My brain overflows, but more importantly, my cup does.

I'm back y'all.

An Ode to Dog

A mini-lesson in love & obedience from my dog, Toby Juan Kenobi. **

I say, 'sit'.
He sits.

I say, 'come here'.
He comes.

If I say 'drop it',
he drops it.

If someone else gives him a command, or he sees another dog doing the opposite of what I've asked him, he won't do it. He listens for my (or Bruno's) voice only.

He has never been leashed (except to go to the vet) and we can go on a walk and he never takes off running or strays away from me.

He doesn't ask why he has to sit.
He doesn't ask what will happen if he comes here.
He doesn't hesitate to drop something (even if it's a yummy piece of human food he's chewing on) when I say 'drop it'.
He doesn't run off because he wants to be with us.

And the real shocker - he has never been to obedience training or puppy school.

He obeys me, not out of fear, and not out of training - but out of love & trust. Because we have spent time together, and I have fed him, loved on him, provided a place of comfort for him - he trusts me. When I have had to discipline him, which is rare, he doesn't like it and is quick to change the behavior. But none of this came through training, or through punishments. It has only come because he knows who he belongs to and he loves me.

Why this ode to my dog?  Because I need to be more like him.

I know who I belong to, and I love him. But, if I'm being honest - sometimes I still find myself hesitating when Adonai (my master or LORD) says come. I want to go - but my flesh can get the best of me and I start going through the what ifs? What if I go, and then ____________ happens.   Which, I tell myself the what ifs are fine, as along as the end result is going. But, when I tell my dog to come here, I expect him to come here now - not to ponder for 30 minutes. So then, why don't I do for the LORD, what I expect of my dog? Seems silly right?  Am I alone in this?

Now, if I could just get Toby to quit eating his own dung! Hey, I never said he was perfect. This is the one area he just won't budge in. I don't want to be like him in this area. Literally and figuratively.  But, again - if I am real honest with myself - I am sure that the one I belong to feels the same way about me. There's a lot about dung in the bible - but that's another blog.

So, I am chewing on this today. - "And may your hearts be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands" - 1 Kings 8:61 and "To obey is better than sacrifice and to heed is better than the fat of rams." - 1 Samuel 15:22

** Yes, that's his name. His name was just Toby, but my husband insisted that he also have a Hispanic name. No, my husband isn't a machismo, 'viva la raza' type. I am being serious. Have you met him? I can't even picture him like that, haha - I digress. But we do like a good laugh, so he insisted it have a Hispanic name so our dog could be part of our 'peoples'.  In kindergarten, Liana came home on the first day saying that she met a friend. I asked what her name was and she said, "It's a boy. Just one". I said, "oh, you only made one friend - that's great. What is his name?" She said, "I already told you one". I said, "right, but what is his name?" She said, "ONE" - and then I realized, she meant Juan. And that is how our dog got his name. Toby Juan Kenobi Lopez. We say it loud, and we say it proud.

Blame it on the Rain

Today we were leaving the grocery store and it was pouring down outside...like sheets of rain pouring down. Several people were huddled around the exit of the store waiting for the rain to let up before they made their way to their cars. I thought about waiting around with them, but then decided to eat my own words that I tell my kids all the time and I said, 'a little rain never hurt nobody.' 

Some people looked at me appalled that I would take my kids out into the pouring rain. Others laughed, surely thinking that I was out of my mind. And for the first time, in a long time - I didn't care.

"Buckle up kiddos, it's going down!" I shouted. Sarah (my 15 year old step daughter) gave an eye roll, and put her hoodie on. She's been around me long enough (8 1/2 yrs) to know that I was dead serious. They all started giggling and Caleb whipped out his umbrella (I promise, that kid is always prepared) and as we started to take off Caleb yelled at the top of his lungs...

"Oh, Lord Jesus help us - but hey, YOLO!"  I could hear a faint echo of laughter as we took off running.

We were laughing and getting soaked. We threw the groceries in the trunk, I even ran the cart back to the place it goes and we jumped in the car. We were soaking wet.  Liana and Caleb both said that was the most fun thing we had done in a while. 

We could have done what everyone else was doing.
We could have waited at the exit door for the rain to let up.
We could have been worried about getting wet and being a little uncomfortable on our way home.

But, we would have missed the adventure.
We would have missed the fun.
And we would probably STILL be standing at the exit door.

I can't get Caleb's last words out of my head as we were taking off. 'Oh, Lord Jesus help us - but hey, YOLO (You Only Live Once).  Ain't that the truth?  Lord Jesus, help us - we only live once.

There has been a consistent message in the content of several things I have been listening to, attending or reading for the past couple of weeks. The best summary of the messages combined is this:

We are all going to die in this world eventually (physically speaking). Until then, we live - but how many of us are really living? And not just going through the motions of our lives, but living life in the fullness of Christ?  And to take it a step further - how is that evidenced in your every day life or in your Christian walk?  And even more, what are we missing out on by not living life to the full?

I have been pondering this thought for the past weeks, but it took me having to run through the rain with my kids for the Lord to really drive this point home.

How many times have I been more compelled to stand around and wait for circumstances to change for me to move?

How many times have I just gone along with what the crowd was doing?

How many times have I been worried about what will happen to me if I run out into undesirable circumstances or if I am uncomfortable for a while?

And how many times have I missed out on the fun and the adventure of something from not stepping out in faith?

The answer is, probably one time too many.

How about  you?

P.O.W.

For 28 years of my life I was a prisoner of war (p.o.w.)... behind enemy lines, weighed down by chains in darkness with no hope. I was brokenhearted, held captive, wrapped up in sin and unforgiveness, needing to be set free.

Looking back, I remember trying to get out of the chains using my own strength but they wouldn't budge. So I decided to move closer to the battle line, to get a better chance of being rescued.  Another time, thinking I was clever, I did release myself from the chains. But once I was out of them, I couldn't see. I didn't know where I was going. I stumbled through the darkness, fell down and somehow found myself tangled up in heavier chains and further away from the battle line.

I gave up. I was convinced that this was just going to be my life.

I had heard of someone that would come after the prisoner's of war and set them free. But I had decided in my mind that the chains I wore and the wounds I had from all the years behind enemy lines would prove to be too much to be saved from. Surely, the person that saved the prisoners would go after a different prisoner...one that had less chains, less wounds, less sin and that was more easily accessible. I had heard talk of surrender, and then being saved. But that didn't make logical sense to me. Even if I did surrender, the place I was sitting in was dark - so dark that no one would be able to find me or see me.

I started to hear talk of other p.o.w's that I knew of. They had been saved by Jesus. I heard all kinds of stories of this Jesus, and how he rescued them & changed their lives. I heard his words spoken around me, but I had no understanding of them.  Shortly after this, I was no longer just a p.o.w., I was a p.o.w. that had been thrown into a pit. The darkness there, seemed even darker than complete darkness. It was a cold, and lonely place. Everywhere I turned, there was a wall. It was a place of no joy, no hope & no feeling. I felt dispensable. It felt like death.

I remember, on July 24, 2009 - I felt something. I felt an urge to get on my knees, to surrender and call out to Jesus to save me. I fought that urge all morning long, until around 3 o'clock in the afternoon.  I fell to my knees, and I surrendered. I called out to Jesus and begged him to come, to save me - I cried, out loud, saying that I could no longer do anything in my own strength, that I was at rock bottom, and that I needed Him. I yelled out for Him to help me from a place so deep within me, that I almost started to feel sick from how hard I was crying in desperation.

And I will never forget.. from one moment to the next, light shined through the darkness. I didn't know what to do with it at first. I just sat there, stunned. I noticed that I suddenly didn't feel the heaviness I had before. I was no longer blinded by the darkness. I could see. I felt, for the first time in a long time. I felt alive, and loved. I had been saved. Thank you, Jesus!

I was delivered from a dark place of alcoholism, anger, confusion, frustration, guilt and shame ... and delivered to a beautiful Savior that showed me unmerited grace. I was suddenly sober, not just from alcohol, but I was of sober mind. I had a desire to show mercy, to walk in forgiveness that had been purchased at a heavy price by the blood of Jesus Christ, and I had understanding of His words. I didn't feel any condemnation from my past sin, and I was thankful that I had been washed clean, white as snow. I wanted to forgive, in the same way that I was forgiven.

I am eternally grateful that I was rescued. My life has been changed, so much, for the better. It is amazing how free you feel when you choose to surrender to a Lord that is worthy of that surrender. After all, he surrendered his own life for us, first. But I will never forget what it was like to be a p.o.w....to be lost, needing to be found. May we, who have been rescued, never forget those that have yet to be found.  Those who are still p.o.w's.  

I think it's easy for us to forget that we are in the midst of a spiritual war. Unless, there is something evident going on in our lives at this very moment... something that feels heavy, brings discomfort, or persecution, or takes us out of our comfort zones without our permission - I think we can forget that we are engaged in a daily spiritual battle.  Though we already know that Jesus wins the war (Revelation 20:7-10), that does not dismiss us from battle.

Ephesians 6 tells us to put on the full armor of God, to stand firm against the enemy's schemes because we do not war against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Just as the service men and women of the U.S. military choose to defend our freedoms in this nation - we need to remember that as children of God we aren't just called to defend ourselves, but to defend the rights of the poor and needy, to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves (Proverbs 31 & Psalm 82).  Not because we have to, but because we choose to.

As I type these words, there is someone out there being held captive.  They may be miles away in Uganda, forced to be part of the Lord's Resistance Army. They may be in the Ukraine, being sent into other parts of the world & forced into the sex industry. It could be your neighbor, who is secretly struggling with drug addiction or your co-worker, who feels hopeless, alone and afraid. It may even be someone reading this blog, right now. The truth is, it could be anyone.

There are people out there who desperately need to call out to Jesus, because we know that "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10:13).  But, if they are like I was, they may not know that salvation through Jesus Christ is available to them.  'How then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? Any how can anyone preach unless they are sent?" Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ." (Romans 10:14-15 & 17).  I think it is no coincidence, that Ephesians 6:15 says "with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace"... and then in Romans 10:15, "it is written, how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."

From someone who was behind enemy lines for far too long, I beg you. Run! 

Run to the captives, physically, or with incessant/urgent prayer. Shine the light of Christ into dark, hopeless situations all around you.

We are the light of the world (Matthew 5). As God sent Jesus into the world, He has sent us into the world (John 17). All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Jesus, so he bids us to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything he has commanded (Matthew 28). Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season (2 Timothy 4). The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on us, because the Lord has anointed us to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent us to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. (Isaiah 61).  'We are His servants, He has chosen us and has not rejected us. So do not fear, for He is with us.... He is our God. He will strengthen us and help us (Isaiah 41). May the God of peace equip us with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 13).

The Lord God, who is, who was, and who is to come..the Almighty is the Lord that I have been delivered to and He is available to us all. He is coming back soon. Now is the day of salvation!  But my story would mean nothing, without His story.

If someone is reading this blog, and does not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, I want you to know that it is never too late. Jesus meets us right where we are at. It's how I met him. There is nothing that you can do to be in a better place to come to know him or to try to be good enough for Him. He loves you just the way you are. Before you were in your mother's womb, He knew you. He knows the number of hairs on your head. God, the Father, demonstrated his love for us by sending his one and only son, Jesus, to be born from a virgin and live a perfect and sinless life.  He took up our pain, bore our suffering and was pierced for our rebellion. He, who knew no sin, took our punishment and died for us while we were still sinners. He has risen from the dead and is now seated at the right hand of God.  He is the way, the truth, and life and no one comes to the Father, except through Him.  If you declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. He makes all things new. Jesus not only changes your heart and your way of thinking. Jesus changes everything.

Spring. A New Season.

Spring is my favorite season. I have always liked it more than the other seasons. There is something about leaving my windows or doors open, hearing the birds chirping and feeling a fresh breeze come through the house. The Creator of the universe, God himself, recreates life from things that appear or feel dead, and he has done so since the beginning of time. I also like the spring rain that comes to give living water to all of the trees, flowers and fields that are in bloom - and they take it in, as if they've been thirsting for it all winter long.

As winter closed out in March, doors that were open in my life have been closed as well.  My family started the process of looking for a new church home, the bible study that I was co-leading with a friend ended, and I worked my last day as an independent contractor for the company I have been employed or contracted out by since I was 18 years old.  Lots of doors closing, but I know that when one door, or 3, are shut - another will be opened.

I just finished up a bible study titled Chase, by Jennie Allen, with a wonderful group of ladies. On Monday night, we all shared our favorite nugget that we took from the study.  My nugget was that only the Creator gets to say who or what the Creation is.  I cannot stop thinking about that.  For all of my life, I have been allowing others, including myself, to say who I am.. or what I can or should do (as far as my skill set). This brings to memory the story of the Potter in Jeremiah 18, where the vessel the potter was making of clay was spoiled, so he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good for him to do.  In Isaiah 64, we are also told that the Lord, our Father, is the potter - and that we are the clay, we are all the work of His hand.

I cannot get this out of my mind. 

I think for a while, I tried to throw my hands into the potters hands... not to be shaped, but thinking that I could actually try to help Him shape me, into what I wanted to be for Him.  Even though I thought I had given over everything to Him, I had not given over certain pieces of me, pieces of my 'identity' that I held on to for some reason.  I found my identity in those things, and not just Him, and Him alone.  I have let go of the bad things of my past, but have held on to what I thought were the good things.  But wait, "if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here" - 2 Corinthians 5:17    

On this first day of Spring, I can't help but feel that I am being re-shaped into something else.  Not that the vessel I was before was spoiled, or maybe it was?  I know that THE potter wants to mold the clay into something else for His use.  I can feel it.  I think for a long time, I was scared of what that would mean for me, or my family, if I was molded into something else.  Something I am not familiar with, the unknown... the unseen.  But isn't that what faith is all about?  Faith doesn't operate in fear of those things.  "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1.  

As I sit back and look at all the broken pieces of this vessel (me).... I embrace the potter's hand, the feeling of fresh, warm, living water that I have been thirsting for reshaping me, and molding me into who He says that I am, who He wants me to be, and what He wants to use me for.  I am no longer an Investor Relations Liaison, an extrovert, a loud mouth (well, maybe that one is still there a little bit), a leader, an intimidating person, or a bossy britches know it all... I am only who He says I am, on any given day, at any given moment, in whatever way He needs me.  

"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past - see, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?" - Isaiah 43:18-19

Heart Beat

I often ask the Lord to use me as a vessel in any way He wants.  I also ask him to please fill my mind with his sweet words instead of my own thoughts.  I ask him to give me a desire to draw near to Him throughout my day.  I ask him to watch over my children, etc...  I don't know about anyone else, but I ask a lot from the Lord.. and I seek out a lot of things of Him and through Him.  If you were to ask me if I could only ask or seek one thing from the Lord, what would it be? - I honestly don't know how I would have answered that last week, yesterday, or quite frankly, even a few hours ago.    

How would you have answered it?

I am going to begin a study on David this month, so I have been reading through the Psalms more frequently lately, to try to get in David's head/heart and understand him more.  I have a tendency to read Psalm 27 often and  get hung up on the end of verse 9 and 10 "... do not reject me or forsake me, God my savior.  Though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will receive me."  I have clung to this piece of scripture because, if you know me personally, then you know it's exactly what I'm dealing with in my life right now.

But, there is a gem in this psalm, just a few verses before it.  As I went to read this Psalm.. again... today, my eyes could not move past verse 4.  "One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple."

When was the last time I only asked that one thing?  

Have I ever only asked one thing?  

When was the last time that I did not ask anything more of the Lord than to just be with Him and gaze upon His beauty?

I've got to be honest.  It's been a while.

I am captivated by David's constant awareness of, and adoration towards God, and how he actively pursued Him.  And God noticed.  I love what God says about him in The Message translation of Acts 13:22, "...I've searched the land and found this David, son of Jesse.  He's a man whose heart beats to my heart, a man that will do what I tell him."  A man whose heart beats to my heart and that will do what I tell him.  Oh, that my God would commend me in that way!  

After reading that I had to ask myself...Whose heart beat does mine reflect most?  I won't go into all the details of my answer, but the bottom line is - I would be lying if I said that it beats to God's 100%.  I think more often than not, I want Him to try to match my heart beat instead of allowing my heart to beat with His.

My prayer for 2013, is that the Lord would create in me a new heart, one that beats to his.  My hope is that when the Lord searches the Land, that He would consider me to be a woman whose heart beats like his, and I that I would be obedient to do anything he tells me.  That sounds like the kind of life I want - to live with my heart beating close to God's and serving Him in any way, everyday, with total abandon.

Where There's A Will There's A Way - But Am I Willing?

Dear Me,

Slow down.  In life, in doing too many things and especially in reading scripture.  Too often I read scripture and I don't really take in what I'm reading.  But when I read in Matthew 8, a piece of scripture that I have read a few times before, these two verses struck me differently this time and stuck with me.  

A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”  Jesus reach out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!"  Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy."  Matthew 8:2-3

A man with leprosy.  I did a little research and found that people who suffer from leprosy experience disfigurement of the skin and bones, twisting of the limbs, and curling of the fingers or toes.  Tumor like growth often occurs on their skin and their noses may collapse.  In biblical times, and even in a lot of societies today, people with leprosy suffered stereotypes (it was considered a curse from God often associated with sin) and banishment from their family or neighbors.

came and knelt before him.  I don't know the extent of this man's leprosy, but based on some of the research I did - it would have been hard to 'come' to Jesus.  Often, people with leprosy cannot walk because their limbs are disfigured.  But either way, this man came to Jesus and knelt before him.

and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."  If you are willing - what a beautiful picture of humility before our Lord.  On his knees, in pain, broken, alone - but having complete reverence to say, if you are willing.  Not saying - heal me.   Not saying, do this thing... Just a simple, if you are willing.  Then he said, you can make me clean.  He didn't doubt whether Jesus could do it, he didn't even ask him if he could heal him - he already knew that it was the LORD, and that he could do it.  Only, if he was willing.  His will, the Lord's willingness, not the leper willing the Lord to do it.

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.   Now this is where I got all worked up and started balling like a baby.  Jesus touched the man, the leper.  The same man that was on outcast, that hundreds of people probably walked by, maybe refused to look at - Jesus touched him.  And as I thought about this more, I wondered... just how long had it been since this man had been touched?  Lepers were deemed cursed. In my mind's eye, I bet he had not been touched or shown love in a long, long time.  I can't even begin to imagine what he felt just to be touched by not just a human, but by Jesus.  I can only imagine the love he felt in that moment. 

"I am willing," he said. "Be clean!"  I need to grab a tissue.  I am willing.  Be clean.  I don't have words, because the words of Jesus are enough here.  I am willing - be clean!       

Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.  Just like that, he was cleansed.  It is amazing how the touch of Jesus.  No.  The LOVE of Jesus can cleanse us - immediately.

This piece of scripture has got me all worked up in more ways than one.  It is time to ask the Lord to examine my heart... again!  This dying to self is SUCH a daily thing, and this piece of scripture reminded me of that.  

Holy Spirit, show me.  Am I willing?

Are there any lepers among me?  Do I refuse them love because of the way they look, or talk, or act?  Do I dismiss them as hopeless?  Do I only pray for them from afar?  Give me the heart, Lord, to show them love the same way that Jesus did to the leper.  To touch them.  To love them.  To be willing, always.  

Remind me Lord, that in all of my pain, the lonely places in my heart - to come.  Humble myself, kneel before you and say -  Lord, if you are willing.  Cleanse me of my self righteous thoughts, my roller coaster emotions, my selfish desires and let my heart beat as one with yours, Lord.  Make my thoughts, my emotions and my desires be the same as yours.  Give me the same heart as you and opportunities to love all people that you died on the cross for.  

For I too have been a leper.. stereotyped, treated like an outcast.  But you were willing.  You touched me.  You loved me.  You made me clean.  

- R

I love that kid.

Caleb's teacher emailed me on Wednesday to tell me that he was going to be rewarded on Friday for demonstrating their core value of the month.  She ended her email with, "He makes me laugh every day, I love that kid."

I just smiled.  If only I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me about Caleb.  "I love that kid."  

And you know what?  I love that kid too.  

Even when his personality is a little too big for his britches, God knew what he was doing when he gave me this precious boy as a gift.  I would be bored to tears without the husband and children God blessed me with and there is never a dull moment when Caleb is around.

He was rewarded for displaying Individuality and this mama could not be any more proud.  I stand back and look at my son, my only son, and I am in awe.  I really am.  And not just because I am his mama - but because He is one of the coolest kids I know and is very comfortable in his own skin.

He got two rewards last year (hey, can't a mom brag just a little bit?).  One was for Generosity.   The other for Hope.  And even though, I was very proud of him for being rewarded with those, this one feels different.

I feel like Bruno and I had a part in showing him, or teaching him how to be generous.  Not just with things, but with words and with affection.  He was rewarded for his generosity because he always had something kind & uplifting to say to his teacher and classmates.  I feel like Bruno and I even had a part in teaching him and showing him how there is always Hope.  We have pointed him to Jesus Christ and tried to display how to place his Hope in God and what He can do in any situation, especially the hardest situations. 

But I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that him being rewarded for his individuality is all of God's work in him.  Him being all God created Him to be.  And honestly, I think I could stand to learn a thing, or ten... maybe 20 from him.  The truth is, I wish I was as comfortable in my own skin as Caleb is. 

I wish I could be myself without worrying about what anyone else thinks.

I wish I could laugh hysterically at myself even when no one else does (ok, wait - maybe I do that already).

I wish I didn't compare myself to others.

I wish I could forgive as easily and quickly as he can.

I wish I was okay with being my loud, boisterous self without trying to tame it down a bit because other people don't like it. 

I wish I could recognize my talents and use them.

I wish my heart was half as big as his is.

I wish I got as excited about small things as he does.

I wish I was as fearless as He is.

I wish I could say exactly what needs to be said out of my heart instead of my flesh the way he does.

The letter that was sent home today said that he has been seen discovering who he is meant to be to make a difference.  He makes a big difference in being part of our family, that's for sure.  I am excited to see what the Lord continues to do in this generous, hopeful, one of a kind individual.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord will use him to make a difference for His Kingdom.  I pray that Caleb never ceases to be exactly who the Lord made him to be.

A Father's Love

I started reading through other blogs that I have written and came to the blog I wrote about Father's Day of this year.  Here is what I wrote back on June 19th at the very end of the blog, "Father's Day was a reminder of who God created me to be, who he has molded me to be with influence from both of these men, and where He is leading me.  I am reminded to never lose my saltiness and let my light shine before men, that they may see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven."  (taken from Matthew 5:13-16)

That they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 

I had the honor of speaking at a women's ministry night about two weeks ago and this was one of the scriptures He lead me to include.  What I didn't realize at the time was that He had been putting this scripture in front of me for months. 

Since June. 

Since Father's Day, which was also my birthday.

I have read that scripture a million times, and have always focused on my light shining.... but at this point in my life - this part sticks out to me so, so much.   YOUR FATHER in Heaven. 

I think in one way or another we have all known God to be....

Our Creator.

Our Maker.

Our Provider.

I have always thought that I have known Him as my Father, but not in the way that I have come to truly know Him as my Father over the last few months.

Prior to August 3rd, I would go to God with my troubles, but I would also talk it through with the parents that the Lord entrusted me to.  Since August 3, 2012 - I have come to a place where God, my Father in Heaven, has been my sole source of love, of joy, of advice and has been my only parent.

When I need to process through something, I go to Him.

When I need a shoulder to cry on, I go to Him.

When I am angry, I go to Him.

When I don't know what to do in a situation, I go to Him.

When I am at the end of my rope, I go to Him.

When I need to be reminded that I am worthy of being loved, I go to Him.

When I need to be reminded that I am wanted as a member of a family, I go to Him.

When I look at my surroundings and feel alone and need to be reminded that I am not alone, I go to Him.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I really know what it means to have a Father in Heaven. 

A Father that has always been there. 

A Father that doesn't feel like a failure because of my past decisions. 

A Father that delights in having me as His child. 

A Father that knows my favorite food and my favorite color.

A Father that knows what makes me laugh and what makes me cry.

A Father that notices me.

A Father that would never harm me.

A Father that Forgives.

A Father that unconditionally loves me, no matter what.

Faith

Sometimes I need to be reminded.  

Even if you have heard my story about this trail before, I encourage you to read through to the end.*

I needed to be reminded of how I learned what true Faith looks like.  I learned that lesson in May of 2010 on the Kalalau Trail. To paint the story for you, please take a trip down memory lane with me.  My husband and I were celebrating our 5 year anniversary on the island of Kaua'i.  It was about 5:30 pm and Bruno wanted to take the short hike on the Kalalau Trail to Hanakapiai Beach.

  

I am not the outdoorsy, physical type and I really didn't want to, but I went anyways.  We set out with a backpack, 2 waters and our camera.  The scenery that we experienced on the hike was insane.  This hike had the most beautiful, scenic views - but you sure had to work for it! 

I am already tired in this picture, can't you tell by the look on my face?

After what seemed like forever, we finally got to the beach at sunset.  For the record, I think the sun set the fastest I have ever seen it set in my life on this particular evening.

I remember we both said, we should probably start heading back, it's getting dark fast!  We had only been at the beach for about 5 minutes - enough time to take some pictures.  

We are both visibly tired here.

This is how quickly it got dark, it had just been minutes after the shot above when I took this pic.

We started rushing back and within minutes... it was dark.  Not the kind of dark where you can still see a little bit.  I mean DARK, pitch black, can't see your hand in front of your face darkness!  We stood still.  What on Earth were we going to do?  We did not have flashlights.  We weren't prepared for this.   

this is an actual photo I took with my camera... with the flash ON to try to see where we were going)

Bruno asked what I wanted to do and right when I was contemplating the thought of just sitting and waiting the night out, I started hearing crackling noises around me (I guess from critters that come out to play in the dark) and I am certain something was on my foot, I felt it!  At that point I remember telling Bruno that there was no way I was going to sit there all night.  NO WAY!  (Not to mention, there are lots of mosquitoes in Kaua'i, and the area of the trail we were on is just about 8 miles away from one of the rainiest places on Earth (it receives 460 inches a year).  Why would this worry me?  Please glance at the first two pictures on this blog and imagine walking that, in pitch darkness, when it's raining and it's muddy.  What I didn't take a lot of pictures of either are the amounts of rocks and tree roots that are all over this trail.)  Back to the story.

This is how close we were to the edge and falling to our death at one point.

We tried to use the flash of the camera to see where we were going and this worked for a little while, but it made us dizzy - think of a strobe light.  So we started using the red light on the camera that I had that would shine a small flash of red before it would take a picture.  And we prayed.  Oh Lord, how we prayed.

Part of the trail, going downhill.

Looking back on these pictures I realized  I used to focus on these things:

 - It was dark

 - It was scary

 - We had no water

 - We had no light

 - We had no protection from the elements (mosquitos, rain, etc..)

 - We were on a tiny trail

 - We were not experienced hikers

 - We were alone

 - There were tons of rocks, roots, streams, etc... that we had a hard time walking through in the light that we would have to cross in the dark

 - We were tired!

But, now I focus on these things:

 - we both had a new found strength to make it off of that trail

 - we suddenly weren't as tired as we thought we were

 - even though we stumbled - a lot, we didn't fall. 

 - we kept going, we perservered

 - it took us much longer to get off of the trail then it took us to hike the first part of the trail... but I don't remember being thirsty on the way out, even though we had gone through 2 bottles of water on the way in

 - our resolve to get off of that trail was much greater than our fear of being stuck on the trail

 - I didn't think about anything on that trail, except staying firm footed and focusing on that narrow path and on the Lord.  I didn't care about my house, my clothes, my hair, my shoes, my car, my job, my skinned up knees - nothing.  I did think about my kids once, but quickly shifted my focus back to that narrow pathway and Jesus.  

 - I prayed with an expectation during that dark hike

We knew we had made it when I snapped this shot because we saw the sign.

When we made it off of that trail, I think that is the happiest Bruno and I have ever been in our lives. And let me tell you.... It did not rain at all the whole time we were on that trail praying that it wouldn't rain... but the SECOND, we stepped foot into the parking lot.. a downpour of showers came.  We did not have a single mosquito bite, we were not dehydrated, we were not dead.  It is evidence of the Lord's faithfulness when we wholeheartedly place our Faith and Trust in Him.  

If you look at the pictures during the trail, I am visibly tired.  Bruno is too.  It was a hard hike.  We took a picture when we got back to the car, here it is:  

Do you see the difference?  We look like we had just won the lottery.  And in a lot of ways, I think we had.

This weekend Bruno and I went and looked back through the pictures of our experience that night again together and we talked about our experience.  One thing I said in my email to my friend, and oddly enough this past Sunday my pastor said something similar.... My husband and I didn't find the Faith that we have in the Lord in the light... we found it in the darkness... In an uncomfortable, scary place where my husband and I had to be 100% dependent upon the Lord - during that pitch black, dark hike down the trail.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."  Hebrews 11:1 

I learned what it's like to have a full faith in the Lord on that trail in Kaua'i... and sometimes, I just need to be reminded.  Faith requires action, a willingness to Trust and to be led blindly.  Fear only requires a lack of faith.   

And so, I will leave you with this.  Faith and fear have the same thing in common - they both focus on a future that hasn't happened yet.  So which one will you choose?  Why, and how, could we possibly choose fear when we already know what the outcome is.  The Lord has spoken, He has said it... It is Finished. If you can't think of something to place your Faith in, then place it in that.

  

If you are at a place in your life where you feel stuck... where you can't see what's in front of you... I urge you to get up, press on, and walk by Faith.  The Lord is faithful and He will lead you.

An Open Letter to My Son

Dear Caleb,

My son, you were created with purpose.  You were conceived just a few weeks after the doctor said that we only had a 50% chance of having children.  You see, you have been a precious, perfect gift from the beginning.

Your dad and I already had two children, two girls, and we both really wanted a son.  I prayed every single day that I would have a boy.  Your dad did not want to find out if we were having a boy or a girl based on the sonogram so I waited a long nine months for your arrival.  While I was in the delivery room, I will never forget the moment you were born and your dad shouted 'IT'S A BOY!'.  I wish I could have bottled up that moment.  It was already a miracle, in my mind, that you were conceived and then you were, indeed, a boy.

When you turned 4, you started to have problems with your speech. It started off as minor stuttering and then changed into pretty severe stammering.  We took you to some specialists and at one of the offices they decided to check your hearing.  They came to me and your dad and said that we needed to take you to an ear specialist immediately because you were almost completely deaf in both of your ears, but more specifically, your right ear.  A day or two later as I was driving to pick you up for that appointment, I remember crying out to the Lord for divine, supernatural healing.  We went to your appointment and they performed several extensive tests on your ears.  The doctor, with a puzzled look on his face, requested the results from 2 days earlier that had been sent over and compared them with your current results.  Your hearing wasn't only ok, it was beyond that - specifically in your right ear.  It was another precious, perfect gift from the Lord....a miracle.  I still have a copy of your test that I plan to show you when you are old enough to understand.  You still had a stammering issue, but with the help of a heaven sent specialist named Rachel, your speech was much better within a year's time.   It was during this year of your life that I prayed that the Lord would use you to speak to me - and boy, has he answered that prayer.

When you were in kindergarten last year I got a phone call from your teacher.  She said she wanted to make sure she hadn't hurt your feelings when you told her that you made it snow.  She said she questioned you about how on earth you made it snow and that you said, "I didn't make it snow.  I prayed to Heaven for snow and God answered my prayer."  You have always boldly, and loudly given God glory and it humbles me.  I have seen you pray for rain on a hot, scorching day and that same day, or the next day, it rains or at least sprinkles for a little bit.  I have had you lay your hands on me when I don't feel well, and pray for healing.  I almost always feel better.  I have to believe that the Lord is building up your Faith and Trust in Him and I cannot wait to see how He uses you for His Kingdom.

I love the things you say.  Some of my favorites are:

"Mom, did you pray for the Lord to help you find it?  (I said no)  Well, quit complaining and getting fuh-rus-tuh-rated and pray.  (I did & found what I was looking for about 1 minute later).  See, all you gotta do is pray mom....duh!"

Me: "Caleb quit being so loud!"
Caleb: "Mom, God did not create me to be quiet and He didn't create you to be that way either"

"I don't want to do that, but because I am a southern gentleman, I will"

"Every time I say yes, just pretend like I am saying yes ma'am, that way you don't have to keep correcting me"

I have been really focused on listening to your prayers the past couple of weeks and I am always blown away by the things you pray.  Now, don't get me wrong, you pray that you get a blue face at school and that you and your sister would try not to fight so much, etc... but you also pray things like this... and this is what I have been focused on :

 - "Lord, you are so Heavenly, I lift up everyone in my family and school to you and Lord, I pray that you would show them just a little bit of your light and keep shining it on them"

 - "Oh, Father - you are so Creative.  You are the Creator, God.  You created everything.  You created me and the family you gave me so perfectly."

 - "Lord, I pray for the kids at my school, even the ones that are mean to me, will you please show your heart to theirs?"

 - "Lord, I am happy that one day you are going to come back, and there are going to be flashes of lighting and thunder, and everyone will know that you are the Lord"

 - "I am glad that I have a relationship with you, my Father, did you hear me when I was under the slide today praying to you telling you that I am glad for that?"

 - "Lord, I love my little sister so much and I don't want her to be scared or feel uncomfortable.  Please take away what she's scared of and make her feel safe. I love her too much to know that she feels scared."
You are not mimicking my prayers.  You are praying these things straight from your heart and the relationship that you have with the Lord, at age 6, and it blows me away.  When I listen to your prayers, I know that you are in love with Jesus - not the things that he can do for us, but what He has already done.

Because of your faithfulness to the Lord, Caleb, I am humbled and I am more than honored to be your mother.  You bring such laughter and joy into our lives and the lives of others.  I thank God that he hand picked me, before I came to know the Lord, to be a mother to a son like you. You have such a forgiving heart, a true love for people, and a faith that can move mountains.  I cannot wait to see what God's will is for your life, but I know that whatever it is, you will make sure that God gets the glory - you already live your life that way, it comes naturally to you.

Love,
Mom