My parents separated when I was 5 and were divorced about a year later. Around the time the divorce was finalized, my mom started dating and that is when I met Rod. I had no idea at the time that the red headed, raised on a farm, man from South Dakota would become my step-father. But he did, when I was 8 years old. Then I came to know my Heavenly Father when I was 28 years old. As I have aged, my feelings about Father's Day have always been mixed.
I would say that for the most part, I have always enjoyed honoring the man who raised me (
at least when my birthday didn't fall on Father's Day, which it did, again, this year). But, I always remember there being a hesitation to call my 'real' dad and wish him a Happy Father's Day. I think I was angry, hurt and resentful towards him for most of my childhood.
My real dad had not called me on my birthday for the last 4 or 5 years - which was hurtful, I am not going to lie, but I paid him back by not calling him on Father's Day (mature, I know). For the last, almost 2 years, we have not talked to each other - at all. But, on Sunday June 17th - my real dad called me. I looked down and saw his name and froze. I ALMOST didn't answer, but I did and I didn't give a normal greeting - I answered with saying Happy Father's Day (something that has always been hard for me to say to him). He laughed and wished me a Happy Birthday. I know it sounds simple, but given the fact that we had not talked in 2 years, nor wished each other a Happy anything for the past 4 or 5 years, it was kind of a big deal. This is especially true because of the word I heard at church this past Sunday. To sum it up, one of the Pastor's touched on how he had harbored bitterness towards his earthly Father never being there for him when he was younger. But our Heavenly Father used his Grandfather (who raised him) to show him what his Heavenly Father looked like, and because of that he has been able to release the bitterness he held towards his earthly Father and now has a relationship with him and has even taken on a somewhat of care taker role. So the fact that my real dad called me that evening, I am sure, is not a coincidence. I am certain it was hand orchestrated by God, and quite frankly - I am curious to see where God is going with this.
When you take a look at both of my Dads, and their contrast, it's kind of hilarious. I know that I probably wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have a little bit of my real dad and my step dad in me. One thing they have in common - they are well respected by their peers. Happy Father's Day to both of my dads, would you like to meet them?
This is my real dad, Clovis (yes, you read that right - Clovis). The rebel without a cause (ok, sometimes with). Although I don't remember much about him from my early childhood, I do remember him being a good cook (a trait that I did not pick up). Clovis is an AA sponsor and has helped hundreds of people come off of their dependency on alcohol (he himself has been alcohol free for about 25 years now). As an adult, I kid you not, 2 out of every 10 people that know my maiden last name, associate it with his (it's not a common maiden name) and tell me "your dad helped me stop drinking" or "your dad helped my friend". He has several tattoos, and peircings - some visible, some hidden. All of which he did not acquire until after the age of 55! There are certain traits of my dad, that I think I have - the first being his rebel blood, his outspoken nature, his spontaneity, his ability to laugh at himself, his love for salt and his ability to talk someone's ear off (sorry Bruno, I got it from him and my mom). What I love most about my dad are the crazy analogies he comes up with and hearing him tell somone that if they would bring him some salt he would dance at their wedding (by the way, he only has half of a foot, so that would be hard). What God continues to show me through him is his compassion towards people. My dad is 70 years old and still sponsors alcoholics. Not only does he sponsor people, he invites complete strangers, with drug and alcohol dependencies, with no where to go, into his home and gives them food, and a place to live. He has done this since I was at least 8 years old. My dad has never once judged anyone, nor does he care (not even a little bit) about what people say, or think, of him. I hope to one day pick up on these traits.
This is my other dad, Rod. The constant. I met Rod when I was 6 years old and he became my step-dad when I was 8. Rod took on the role of being my dad quite naturally. I don't ever remember feeling like I was a step child. On the contrary, he always made me feel loved, safe and cared for. Rod has always been, and will always be, my dad in all aspects. I call him the constant, because that is what he is. Constant and consistent. He was always there when I played sports, even though I was never great at them - I always had a fan in the stands. He was there for my entire teenage pregnancy (age 16) and it wasn't my mom, or the father of my child that would take me to my appointments. It was Rod (and the nurses would give him dirty looks, I guess they didn't know he was my step dad - ha). Throughout my pregnancy we would go on walks together every single night and when I went into labor he was the one that timed my contractions at midnight while we watched M.A.S.H. (which, I don't recommend watching while in labor) and drove me to the hospital. Throughout my ups and downs of life, I can look out and I always see Rod's face. When I went into labor with Liana, 10 years after my first child, Caleb was also sick and in the E.R. I called my mom and Rod to come to the hospital to help Bruno and I with this crazy situation, and it was kind of funny sitting back in the labor and delivery room with Rod next to my side - just like old times (Bruno and my mom were in the ER with Caleb). It was a reminder of how Rod has always been there for me, and I know he always will be. Anytime I meet someone who knows Rod the first thing that comes out of their mouth is "He's a good man". And you know what, he is. Traits that I am certain I have picked up from Rod are his sarcasm, his methodical way of looking at the big picture and analyzing a situation, his loyalty and his baking skills. What I love most about him is that he understands my humor, isn't easily offended, and never makes a mountain out of a mole hill. What God continues to show me through him is genuine faithfulness, how to have a listening ear, humility and loving kindness. I am shown the fruit of the spirit through Rod by him fathering me and being an amazing grandfather to my kids. He never brags about anything or feels the need to go on and on about himself. He always finds time for others, despite his busy schedule. I hope that all of these things will one day come naturally to me the way they do to him.
One thing is for sure, although I have a well balanced mixture of traits from both of my dads - I think we can all agree that I do not look like either one of them. I choose to believe that this was by God's design. On Father's Day I realized how blessed I am by these two men, but I was also reminded that I am here because of my Heavenly Father and for my Heavenly Father. Father's Day was a reminder of who God created me to be, who he has molded me to be with influence from both of these men, and where He is leading me. I am reminded to never lose my saltiness and
let my light shine before men, that they may see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven.
